An election day joke.

Passed along to me by Daniel but, which bought a chuckle:

United States Soldier was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, “God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes.” The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, “Here I am God. I’m still waiting.”

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Soldier got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Soldier went back to his seat and sat there, silently.

The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence.

The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Soldier and asked, “What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?”

The Soldier calmly replied, “God was too busy today protecting America’s soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an asshole… So, He sent me.”

Just for fun.


Walking around the city last night feeling as if I was being watched.

A poem for a Monday morning.

I was doing the iTunes thing again and making my way through the buildup of podcasts I have subscribed to.

One of the things I have been enjoying is Garrison Keilor’s - The Writer’s Almanac. It’s something I enjoy when I catch it but, I am not quite sure when it is broadcast (turns out it is broadcast locally on WNYC-FM, 93.9 every weekday at 8:00 PM. If you want to find out when the show is broadcast in your area, look here.

The poem is also featured in Keilor’s book - Good Poems for Hard Times.

I thought I would pass the poem along “My Father Gets Up in the Middle of the Night to Watch an Old Movie” by Dennis Trudell from Marquees of Buffalo.

My Father Gets Up in the Middle of the Night to Watch an Old Movie.

On cable television. Because he can’t sleep.
My father gets up in the middle of the night
to watch an old movie on cable television—
because he can’t sleep. He has done this before.
He will do it again, and sometimes he eats
cookies. My father eating cookies and watching
an old movie again because he can’t sleep.
He is eighty-seven years old. He lives alone.
Because my mother died… and sometimes he looks
at her absence on the black sofa. My father
turning back to the movie on cable television,
eating another cookie. The movie has a name,
but he doesn’t know it. My mother died—
because this is not a movie with a happy
ending. Or any ending. My father returns
to bed and goes to sleep. Or does not,
and then later sleeps. The television reflects
the lamp he leaves on… the black sofa.
Reflects an old mirror behind the sofa—

In case you thought you were safe.

I came across this article which is a couple of months old but, still worth reading:

While Apple is pretty good at patching its systems—in fact, Apple has just released 20 new patches for OS X, including those exploited by the Leap.a virus—the latest patches do not completely address the concerns of one security researcher. By creating three proof-of-concept worms last week, Kevin Finisterre started a public dialogue over Mac OS X security. But he also opened a Pandora's box, giving script kiddies techniques that could be used in future Mac OS X viruses.

Still more discoveries.

No matter how long I live in and around New York, no matter how jaded I become thinking I’ve seen everything the city can offer up, I am still occasionally surprised and knocked for a loop by it.

Are you perfect?

Recently I was forwarded a film by a friend on Flickr. It was an interesting short film, played backwards it showed the person undergoing a transformation from a sparkly, glittery creature to a groggy, sleepy eyed one.

You can watch the film from my friend Sandra here.

I imagine I responded differently than most because the thing that appealed to me about the film more than anything else, was the creature at the end of the piece. This would probably contradict the idea most women would suppose the response of most men to be.

However, what occurred to me in that moment was the great joy I have derived from having the companionship of a women sharing my life with me. Honestly, I thought about my last companion who I thought was the most beautiful creature and how much I delighted in being ‘behind the curtain’ so to speak.

In other words, there was a great joy in being able to live a life with someone without them having on their mask.

Nobody is perfect, even the most beautiful among us and one of the great comforts of relationships is being able to allow yourself to be who you are without artifice. It made me think of that scene in the Wizard of Oz where the Wizard says, ‘DON’T PAY ANY MIND TO THAT MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!’ Every one of us has that person behind the curtain, no matter what we may present to the world at large.

A few days later, I got a link to this short which you’ve probably seen it as it got a fairly decent amount of coverage in the news a few days after I received it. Part of a campaign for Dove (soap I believe), it shows just what has to happen for the ideal of beauty to be achieved and how that image is so very askew from the reality.

Watch it here: Campaign For Real Beauty.

There have been moments in the past where the ‘image of beauty’ has been taken out and exposed as the ugly lie it really is but, will it change things? I doubt it and that’s a bit of a shame.

Strange behavior.

What does it say a person will link to you but, not show the courtesy of responding to an email?

Friday cat blogging.


It doesn’t matter if I am surfing the net, writing, working on the computer or watching TV (or any combination of all three). Now that the cold weather has set in, nothing will stand in the way of Anna as she seeks out nice, warm spots to cozy up in and take a nap. Her utter lack of regard in this instance is one of the things I love about the little beastie!

I AM JUST SO MAD!

They killed off Mr. Eko! I had really grown to like his character.

Speaking of which Mike Wieringo does these great drawings each and every day up on his blog. They’re his warmup sketches (Man! I wish I could draw as good as his warmups are!).

He did Kate, Sawyer, Jack, Locke and of course the late Mr. Eko. Check ’em out!

It’s time to take up smoking.

So, I realize it finally is time to take up smoking again. I gave up cigarettes a long, long time ago but, over the last few years it has occurred to me taken up the filthy habit as it might not be so bad after all.

See, I’ve been working a little bit lately and there is nothing I love more than the smoker’s excuse of popping off to have a cigarette. How it possibly became socially acceptable for someone to get up from their work area and just disappear for 20 to 30 minutes at a time three to five times a day never ceases to amaze me. What I love about it, is the fact if you substituted any other drug for tobacco and in the context of this kind of behavior it would be grounds for getting your ass canned.

Think about it.

‘Hey, I’m going to go downstairs and down a fifth!’ or ‘Excuse me, I’ve just got to take a break so I can go and shoot up.’

Here’s the plain English for the situation (smoker speaking) - I have an addiction and bad impulse control, consequently I want the world to accommodate me while I indulge in my addiction. Also, even though my addiction takes me away from my responsibilities for a prolonged time each and every day, I feel it is my right to still be compensated for that time when I am away from my desk indulging in my addiction. I thoroughly expect those around me to pick up the slack for my absences while I am off indulging in my jones for tobacco.

I was a smoker so, it’s not like I don’t have some sympathy but, there comes a point when the whole ‘smoking break’ just becomes absolutely ridiculous. I mean, I probably wouldn’t have as much of a problem with it if it were also as socially acceptable for me to just get up and walk away for a big block of time several times throughout the course of a day and no one would even raise an eyebrow.

But then, that’s just me. What do you think?

Because it’s almost Halloween!

Even though it’s 20 years old, I have to admit to never seeing it before today - so I share with you:

BRING ME THE HEAD
OF CHARLIE BROWN!

Another favorite!

More from my iTunes music cue - loving every second of shuffle and the amazing segues it brings. Click for a sample.

Is this guy selling TVs?!?



Of course not!

He’s one of the most important animated characters to ever come down the road but, I imagine if you’re under the age of say about 25 (maybe even slightly older) you won’t know who this guy is and why he’s important. If you’re in my age bracket, you can probably smile inwardly because you can remember a stretch of time when this guy was inescapable. In some ways, I might even consider him to be the grandfather of Shreck and a whole bunch of other animated characters we are all so familiar with in movies today.

Fortunately.

I have my very own version of a space heater:

It’s starting.

To get cold again! I f**king hate the cold weather - life begins again when pitchers and catchers report.

Rediscovering past greatness.

I managed to finally break down and get myself an iPod. The thing tipped the balance was a long continuing project I have been working on of taking all my cds around here and selectively loading favored songs into iTunes. The more I do the more I enjoy it. The other thing is I sure as hell seem to be a lot more productive when music is on in the background than the tv or radio. I got out of the habit of listening to music - not so much when I accidently happen upon it (at work or running errands) but, purposefully just having music on.

I like a lot of music though and there’s a lot of stuff I hadn’t listened to in quite sometime. As I load songs into the iTunes library, it’s akin to rediscovering a part of myself I had put away. Anyhow, this is a snippet of lyrics from something I was listening to this morning as I loaded a bunch of songs from a box set I have into a library. Bonus points if you can name where it’s from (without clicking through that is - but, you can to see if you were right):

Her man’s been gone
For nearly a year
He was due home yesterday
But he ain’t here

Why can’t I see stuff like this being done on TV?

Came across this by way of Peter David’s blog (see link in sidebar). Simply hilarious and worth a watch!

Stick Magnetic Ribbons on Your SUV

Truer words have never been uttered.


I don’t really think there is anything else to say.

Words that hang in the air.

I write quite a bit, some things for the blog, others not. I have quite the slew of unfinished thoughts floating around in my drafts queue. Passages written about something when it was the topic of the moment but seemingly far less important looking back. I have to force myself to get around to these unfinished thoughts one day.

Last night we had another gloriously warm day here. Strangely, today may be the first day this week I don’t find myself in Manhattan and the last few days have been the most I’ve been in the city in months.

After work the other night, a rainy night, I wandered around the city a bit before heading home. I took a bus up Church so I could obtain a replacement item for the one that succumbed to the mighty tires of Houston Street. Fortunately, the store I had to return to was still open after 6pm even though it looked like every other store on Canal Street had already closed for the night.

Canal Street is a bit of an oddity in the city in that it is so overwhelmingly crowded and busy throughout the day. It doesn’t even look like New York at times, taken on the character of what I imagine some other city in Asia or Africa to be like. Streets packed with people, lots of makeshift displays set up along the curb hawking all manner of wares, many small stores with employees standing hawkishly out in front insuring merchandise doesn’t walk off of its own accord. Tons of traffic moving either towards Brooklyn (the Manhattan Bridge) or New Jersey (the Holland Tunnel). The strip that is Broadway always so crowded too. There is a level of activity in and around Canal which is very unique to the street alone.

In the rain the other night Canal Street was quite different. The street itself almost devoid of traffic - rush hour having died away, stores closed, the rain meant had chased away the street vendors who had packed up for the day and the sidewalks were virtually empty. A sudden and abrupt change for the street, so very remarkable.

Well, I got my replacement and then decided how I would like to get take out from a favorite restaurant as a treat so, I made my way eastward through the windswept streets. I took a bunch of pictures, some of a notable alley (seen in a couple of films and videos), a couple over by the tombs (the jail that squats between the government buildings and Chinatown proper) and a few more in Chinatown itself.

The restaurant was empty when I got there - whether it was because of it being a Tuesday night or if I had in fact hit that window between seatings I am not sure. I got on the subway and rode up afterward for the other train ride and the drive, it was nice.

Yesterday, the aforementioned warm spell hit and after Japanese class I wound up taking a nice walk from the environs where the class is given (over by the UN) down to the West Village. Walking through the city is such a great way to spend time, I had forgotten how much I loved the idleness of the long walk. I love the city so much at times - maybe I should be more specific in saying I love Manhattan so much because Manhattan lends itself to walking around it in a way the other boroughs do not.

It’s not a slight against those other four siblings of NYC as much as an observation. I will fully acknowledge each of Manhattans’ immediate family have qualities to be lauded in their own right, qualities which Manhattan doesn’t possess.

Just something about the roll of the landscape still apparent even through all the building. The rise over on 2nd and 44th street, the slowly descending hill down to the entrance to the Midtown tunnel, the ridge that makes up Murray Hill and the flat expanse that runs from Murray Hills’ base down to 14th street. I love to look at buildings or blocks and remember times when they were a daily part of my experience or look upon some often passed edifice and think back to the bit of history surrounding it (something which many people passing by each day fail to grasp).

There’s just so much to see and all of it wonderful.

Feet of clay.

Erik Larsen’s column One Fan’s Opinion this week is nothing short of incredible.

I didn’t go over. I didn’t introduce myself. And I’m a little sorry and a little not. In the end, I decided it would be better to think of him as that guy that wrote that humble letter in the X-Men all those years ago. I didn’t want to spoil it. I didn’t want to find out that he was any different than that. A friend came up to me and said that he just met Byrne and that he was a dick to him. I don’t know if John was a dick to him or not. He may have heard what he wanted to hear. I know plenty of people have come away from having had contact with me for a fraction of a minute and formed opinions based on a half dozen words spoken in between signatures that weren’t entirely flattering and I was willing to give John the benefit of the doubt.

You know, throughout the column he says how wonderful John Byrne’s artwork is and how much he would like to see Byrne at the top of his game once again.

I find myself in the category of those people who have really loved Byrne’s work through the years.

Still, it’s hard to disconnect the guy from the persona he projects online. While I haven’t had any run-ins with the guy, I personally know two professionals (one who really loved Byrne’s work) who were put off after having a bit of an incident with him.

For me, there’s this guy who draws these wonderful pictures, who is worlds apart from this ranting, vindicative and ill-mannered man who shows no impulse control. It’s too bad really because the whole thrust of the column makes you think Byrne has a lot more people rooting for him to succeed in life, if only he wouldn’t make it so very difficult a thing to do.